So what is this blog for? A philosophical babbling...

Why do I write in this blog?

Hmmm.... I have begun to wonder. Am I just bored? Bragging? Lonely? Afraid? Proud? Confused? Neglected? Alone? Tremendously happy? Needy?

Better question. Who am I writing it for?

Is it a journal for myself, a way to remember all the things that I experience. The good the bad, the UGLY!?

Is it so that those back home can "keep up" with me, my stories, my life.

Is it for my head? Spilling emotions, into words, onto a screen, just to get it all out?

Maybe, just maybe, I want to immortilize the people and things I have seen here.

The answer is yes.

I suppose this has all been a little over dramatic, and quite possibly over the top. Its a little to much info, its a little too personal, its all a little too much. But...
It is what it is, my experiences, my friends, my feelings, hence my life.

I'm not proud of who I am or the things I have done, nor am I ashamed. My mistakes are potential learning experiences, and quite often they are my friends.

I only regret hurting others along my path of growth and development, spiritual, intellectual, emotional, and it sometimes looks like I have growth circumfrentially (you know, my belly).

But the pain that we and the world cause ourselves is sad, yet it is the only true ruler by which to measure its absense. Pleasure and happiness.

So thank you lonley, for loved.
Thank you sadness, for apprieciation.
Hey bum left knee, thanks for my awesome right one.
Thank you shame, for self esteem.

All things that hurt us, give us a gift. Many tme we are too wound up in the bad to see the good that develops. It ALWAY does. Good is everywhere. Can you see it?

I'll end with my favorite story in the whole wide world. Use it anytime bad things stare you in the face.

An old Chinese man was readying himself for the season's harvest. He gathered his tools, his mule, and his son to prepare for the next day. As he did, many other farmers were stopping by to congratulate him on such fine and bountiful crops.
The old man said, "Good luck, bad luck who knows?"

The day break apeared and ready were the man, his mule, and his son. As the sunlight began bathing the countryside the old man noticed a horrible thing. His crops, overnight, had been destroyed and stolen, half eaten, and smashed. The mans son upon discovering the same ran to his father with tears briskly welling up in his eyes and said, "Father, what will we do? All is ruined. We will surely starve this winter!"
The old man said, "Good luck, bad luck who knows?"

His son flew back in the house with a heart full of disgust and a stomach empty of food. The old man sat down looking out at his fields. For hours he sat, and he thought, and hours later he saw movement, great movement in the distance. That old man sat there until sun down. Het sat there watching, waiting. Eventually the mans eyes became heavy and he retreated to his house for a good nights rest, for tomorrow he thought will be a long day.

As the rooster crowed the man again went to his field. Today he found an extrodinary site. His field which before was rich with harvest, abounded with horses, wild horses. They had run down from the mountains to find food, and in the yard of the old man... they did. The villagers ran to the man exclaiming, "What a man of fortune to have such good luck!"
The old man said, "Good luck, bad luck who knows?"

The next day the man and his son went to break and tame the wild horses so they could take them to market. They would fetch three times the money than the harvest would have. It seemed as though life was great for them. Later in the day as the man's son weakened with all the work he doen and had an accident. A bad accident. He had been thrown from a horse and had broken both legs leaving him useless in the fields. Again the townspeople rallied behind the old man trying to console him. But the old man would have none of it.
The old man said, "Good luck, bad luck who knows?"

It was then that the townspeople began to talk. The old man must be starting to lose his mind. He has lost so much, the harvest, the horses, whatelse has he left?

It was that evening that the town was invaded by a foreign army. The townspeople had no idea that their country was even at war. The foreign army had been sweeping through all the neighboring towns ransacking what they could from the villagers. Some took their harvest, others took their horses, and all families lost their healthy sons into slavery.

When the military left the people went from house to house to check on each his neighbor. When they got to the house of the old man they thought he would be broken. To always be losing so much. But when they arrived they found the old man on his porch sitiing happilly with his son, with the two broken legs.

"Good luck, bad luck who knows?"

Today I give my list of demands to the US Army...

So I get a phone call last night. Even though I'm on my first three day break, I have togo in to work today. Well, here's why. Colonel Fried, he's the guy in charge of all the medical stuff in not just in Kuwait, but the whole middle east. Well, as it turns outit is today that the Army needs a list if medical equipment that we need. They agreed to purchase $150k worth of medical supplies after the death of the chaplain... hey, you don't know that story yet, do you, well another day then.
So anyways I needo to get a wish list together and my chief has kinda thrown that responsibility in my lap. But I love it. Right now I am keeping what few supplies we have in the "girls" bunk room. See, I guess the US army has a thing against men and women sleeping in the same room and using the same washrooms...which isn't ALL that bad. But, after a day of drinking 6 liters of water you wake up alot and run to the bathroom, sometimes 4 times a night. But, our bathroom is down the hall, across the bay floor into the other side of the building. Its a long walk ok? Just trust me.
So today the plan is to head to the base and get my list together. I will also be helping teach IV therepy to some soldiers who learn it for emergency survival in war time situation, saving your own I suppose. I hlped a couple days agao and it was the funnies bloodbath I've seen. They are pretty good at sticking each other, but once they do, they forget to occlude the vein so lood goes spurting out while they get tubing ready. Our bay floor looked more like a surgeons lair. On the floor, tale, each other... its no scene for the squeemish. Every once in awhile we get someone passing out. No harm no foul. Its really cool eing able to work with the slodiers, it gives a little more meaning to what I'm doing over here.

Be sure to check out my photo blog, its in the works Once its up I'll refer to certain pics with numbers so you can cross refernce pics with stories. I promise, it'll be up soon. Thanks for taking th time to keep up with my life. Don't forget to tell me whats up with all of you. Miss you all, Meghan.

Other randomness....

I live in a chalet by the sea. We have a 15ft deep pool. I walk the beach alot, sometimes alone, sometimes with Marty, sometimes freinds, even strangers. I make more money than I know what to do with. I eat well (too well). I love my guys on my shift. I don't like my captain, but I like my batt chief. I was asked to play on some fancy traveling around the midle east championship 7's Rugby team. For some reason I have diarheah alot (was that too much info?). It is so hot you sweat and drink water all day long and sweat more till your skin feels sandy from the dreid sweat, by 10am.
I had my first closed door session when the chief called me in to tell me I was doing a fantastic job, ever! My captain keeps telling me I should have been a nurse and has some strange disgruntled opinion about me. He is real goofy, too. He always raises and lowers his eyebrows like he is having a facial seizure and walks like a 10ft tall pimp who is hunched over. He smacks his lips when he eats and tries to make really stupid jokes. He is so not qualified for the job its sick. I feel like I end up running most of the calls. Well, cause my crew and I do.
I was interviewed for the Desert Times today. They are doing an artical about our fire dept. I hope there are no pics of me. But, we'll see. I am the head medic here, one of two paramedics. I am trying my best to help improve our medical responces. They have given me lots of responsibility and have already become a certified Pre Hospital Trauma Life Support instructor. I will soon be CPR instructor too. Life is pretty good. How is yours. Email me meghaninkuwait@yahoo.com

Just when things began to become familiar...

So, yesterday, payday, we took a ride into the city to go grocery shopping. All was well (but expensive) until the ride home. WE were cruising at 130 km and suddenly all traffic, all 5 lanes, came to a screeching stop. A car that was traveling in the opposite direction appeared to have been bumped by a car trying to go around him and spun him out into a light pole. This car was in the median and by the time we drove by people had already gotten out of their cars and were milling about. Luckily the man was traveling alone, unluckily his body had been split in two, just like his car. His body lay on the ground in between the two halves of the car...no one thought to cover the body. He was wearign a red and white checkered head dress the the Saudis do with a white robe. It took every ounce of strength not to stop. They warned us that helping the people can be construed as interfering with fate... what they call Allah's will. So, with the way they think obviously no one should wear a seatbelt, cause if you die, well, its Allah's will.

I didn't stop. I kept driving. The sunglasses I wore hid the tears welling up in my eyes. The car remained silent for a song or two. It wasn't natural for any of us in the car passing the scene and not helping, after all, thats what we do. We are firefighters, we help. That day we did not. It was even harder for me with my paramedic background. I still get a knot in my stomach when I think about the choice that I made. It was more than likely too late for that man, but I'll never know.

I did make a descision my ethical choice cannot be made for me by others. I don't believe that all people feel that way. I believe it is an understanding that our culture has with theirs. I found out that I was right.

Later that evening I had the honor and privilage to hang out with the Minister of Public Health of Kuwait. Where we live we have many important people. So on the weekends that all show up and are very friendly. According to this man, they welcome our help and he even asked me to act the next time I came accross the same scene. There is also a rumor that the Kuwaiti medics won't help women. This man told me that was not true and that was not the belief of the medical community, it seems these are the problems that go on on the street though. I have considered buying my own paramedic jump bag, so if again I see this I can do what I need to do. Help. Hope you are all well. I think of all of you. Feel free to email comments and questions. I welcome the communication. Love Me.

Welcome Welcome One and all......

Hi Everyone!
This is the begining of my blogging. In it you will be able to hear all of my awesome adventures of me vs. the desert, the middle east, the army, and just life itself. I have been here for a total of 23 days and I have seen, eaten and heard more new and amazing things than I have the past 2 years of my life. I really can't believe that this is truely my life. I have already encountered death first hand, began learning new languages, and made so many new and wonderful friends. I have so many stories to tell and pict
ures to share so I'm glad you can all take this journey along with me and feel free to still email and ask questions along the way. I am very close to being settled and with that I not only gain some security, but the ability to communicate with you all.

Let the journey begin!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!