Its like starting all over again

For the past 48 hours or so I have been slowly closing a chapter on my life I hoped would never end (like any good thing). Marty has gone home. Its hard. I know I'll be fine, and I know its for the best, ut tell my tear ducts that, they don't reason. And neither does your heart. Oh look, another typical case of your head says one thing and yet my heart another. Surprise surprise!

I was a wonderful 2 days though. We spent all our time packing, cluddling, or planning anout what home will be like when we both get there. I've never heard I love you as much as I've said it. I won't forget the way he'd rub my back to try to relax me and then make some silly face or just cry along with me.

At work I am like the walking dead, everyone is treating me with kid gloves, no one looks me in the eye. I don't try either for fear someone's empathetic look or gesture will send me down the slippery slpoe of tearing up again.

I am happy for Marty. I want him to succede. For both himself, and for us. I look at it as his preparring for what our future holds togteher and when I think of it that way, it doesn't seem so sad.

Today's Sadness scale: 9