I only lost weight cause the foods so darn expensive.

So today I went grocery shopping and spent 74 KD ($251) on groceries. To eat is to go broke. Thats why poor people aren't ripped! Healthy food is so expensive. Then take into consideration the $150 worth of supplements on my counter and the $70 worth of vitamins in my drawers, I had better look like a million dollars next time I see all of you (ort atleast $471).

I'd like to report some boring stuff. I got my Instructor I certification. I will be taking my firefighter I test by the end of this month. I guess for me mildly lonley = productivity.

On a more exciting front I had my first date (hangout) with John. John is a firefighter (will I never escape them) with KBR, a rival contract, here in Kuwait. I met him a month ago when they came down for a burn on our base with their brand new engine. John was a firefighter in the Air Force and is an engineer. John is from rural Penn, about 45 south of where my family is from. John likes movies, the Simpsons, fire engines, his truck back home, his crew he voulenteers with, and plain foods. Just once can I find a guy who isn't just content to eat the basics? I love cooking! Steak is good but its the other foods you should eat with it that make it great! John has been working contract firefighting to save up money for his kids (future tense) to go to college and to get a great sart towards retirement. HIs parents are still together and has a sister.

Phil, my captain, describes him as one of the greatest guys he's ever met. He seems very nice, but to be brutally honest, not as intellectually challenging as I like. I like a challenge, I haven't gotten one yet. He is very polite and seems a little quiet. I was hoping for a moment of philisophical blunder, but we pretty much talked about work ( as all firefighters do) and just general nonsense. There was no immeadiate spark that I have felt with people when I meet them for the first time, but, maybe that spark was always a warning of dreaded things to come.

He likes to travel and has some amazing plans for his time once he leaves this place. And he plans to do it alone. I find that interesting. He claims he's never been in love and has never had a long term relationship. Which means he doesn't know the bittersweet sting of having his heart broken either. He doesn't like dressing up, it makes him uncomfortable. He is a handyman and is learning about fiberglass customization and does alot of the mechanical and carpentry work around his fre dept. He doesn't have his college degree, prefers Farm hockey to the pros, isn't real big into working out, and is a rope a dope (in the fire house he does rapelling and high angle rescue).

He didn't make me laugh like some before him had and he seemed a little nervous all the time. He lives 2 hours away on one of the Army bases up North andis crew that I got to meet today all seem like pretty nice guys.

So, what does all this mean? Nothing really I guess. I don't want to get into another serious relationship, not here, not now. There are some other guys that have asked to hang out and spend some time with them. I will continue to keep my schedule open and my heart unavailable. (Ok, any of you who are thinking "Don't be closed minded, just see where it all goes", I did that last time, I didn't want to commit last time. I'm not good with goodbye's and when you are over here, this place so far from reality, no one see's it as real so getting really involved will just lead to more confusion.)

So, my plan is to learn as much as I can from all of these people and use that all to develop myself into the woman I need to become, want to be, and will long from now be proud to admidt that I am.

I do have to admidt it was nice spending sometime with a new face. I only wish there were more to meet. We really can't hang with the Army, its taboo. I'd love to make some Kuwaiti friends, but its hard. So for now I keep myself entertained by the occasional random other contractors and look forward to my travel plans in the future.

Friends, do keep up the emails, pictures, and well wishes. As much as I enjoyed seeing you all this holiday season I have to tell you there was a part of me that felt like I was not at "home". Your greetings, well wishes, and insults all remind me where I belong. After all, home is where the heart is.